Post by Ian Vogel on Feb 27, 2011 0:32:43 GMT -5
"I KNOW THE WORLD'S A BROKEN BONE, BUT MELT YOUR HEADACHES CALL IT HOME."
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welcome to Fairytale Gone Bad.
hi there, Raina, welcome to the site! so i hear you're female. that's pretty cool. no worries, we won't hold that against you. so you've been doing this crazy rp thing for four years? holy cow! we're really excited about your one character! what's your character's name again? Ian Vogel. awesome. oh, how old are you? Seventeen? wow. that's pretty old. well, that's it for the rper. time to get to know your character!
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Hello, Ian Vogel.
» Is there anything you would rather be called?
"Well you can't get much shorter than 'Ian'. It's just three stinking letters. Yeah, I guess Jenson has a bunch of nicknames for me... Don't pay any attention to him, though; he's just tooting his own horn. Yeah, Ian's good. Better than good. Ian's great - call me Ian. [pause] Well I guess if you insisted I wouldn't mind going by Mister Vogel-"
» Great, now that we've got that covered. How old are you?
"I'm twenty. It was pretty funny because on my birthday last year I tried to sneak into a bar-"
» You know, has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like...?
"Seth Green? Geez, don't you start on me. 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', 'Austin Powers', right? He's old. I'm not that old. I'm only twenty - is that what old is nowadays? I guess I better start deciding on my mid-life crisis."
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Let's talk about your personality.
» What are a few of your favorite things?
"Few of my favorite things, huh? You mean besides raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens? I'm just kidding you - I hate cats. The way they just pop up whenever you're sitting and stare at you with those beady eyes... What? That's the next section? Geez, why'd you let me keep talking? Well I like saltines. Whenever I go to a restaurant with one of those salad bars I always steal a bunch and shove them in my pockets while the waiter is showing me to my table. And I like... Antiquing. Hey, that's not weird! Jenson has his weird deal with lamps, but I like shiny old stuff. I never buy anything, though. I save every single penny I get. Yeah, don't tell Jenson, but I like all that magic stuff he does, too - what'd you just mutter? Did you just say 'talking'? Well you asked the question, mister!"
»[cough] That's interesting. Is there anything you absolutely dislike?
"Yeah, cats. Well I don't like them enough to mention them twice. You want another thing? Geez... Fine, I hate how Jenson treats me like some sort of pack mule or servant boy. Yeah, so maybe I made the wish, but I wasn't exactly picturing following around a fat-headed magician - oh, excuse me, sorcerer - when I thought of it. A little 'please' or 'thank you' never hurt anyone. I also don't like the rain or swimming or shopping for shoes or long lines or static electricity or spending money or Velcro or roller coasters or small spaces or paper cuts or coconut or musicals or cleaning or..."
» Hm, what is your greatest fear?
"Greatest fear... Ha, I don't have any greatest fears. [long pause] I don't know! I guess if I had to pick something, it'd be being alone. Yeah, yeah, you were probably expecting 'giant spiders' or 'whiskers on kittens' or something. I complain about Jenson a lot, but... I don't know what I'd do if he just vanished. [pause] This is getting too sappy. Let's pretend I said giant spiders. Erase what I said before. Hey, I don't see you erasing!"
» Yeah, that is scary. Do you have any dreams for the future?
"You crossed that out, right? Yeah, giant spiders are scary. Geez, you don't really get any dreams when you're magically handcuffed to some other guy with dreams of his own. That's what wishes are suppose to be for! I should have just wished for money. [grumbles] Yeah, so I've always wanted to be rich. Mansion with a rose garden, bed with a thousand pillows, butler named Jeeves, right? I guess I wouldn't mind being famous, too. I think I'd just be so rich that I'd be famous. I don't know what my dream is nowadays. Not like it matters."
» Wow, I hope you succeed. Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?
"Yeah, fat chance. Hmph, okay. I guess I talk a lot. It's not that I have a lot to say, but I like being noticed. I've been overlooked for entire life and even now I'm always stuck in Jenson's shadow. And maybe I'm kind of short-tempered, but I have a reason to be! It's not me, I just happen to run into a lot of stupid people. I have a lot of pet peeves, alright? Most of them involve things that other people do. Like people that sing in public or keep asking 'what' after you've clearly explained something or that mock you and expect you to laugh at it. I'm stubborn and sort of conceited - nothing like Jenson, though. I've got my pride. Even though I schlep around as his stupid sidekick. And hey, I know what hand feeds me, but I don't really like how he goes out of his way just to screw people over. I'm not going to refuse the cash that comes from it, but I'm not as... diabolical?... as he is. Yeah. Noisy, easily irritated, sarcastic, proud, open to bribes - that cover it?"
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So far so good. Now for history.
» So tell me, where are you from? What did you think of it?
"The United States. Yeah, dull. A small town in South Carolina, actually. My family was really poor. My mom worked at the grocery store and my dad couldn't keep a job. He said he had clinical depression and my mom couldn't pay for a psychologist, so... You know, you probably don't want to hear about this. Nah, it's fine, I'm boring you. I can tell. No, really, we can just move onto the next question. [pause] It was okay, though. Small, crowded house, not much money, but it wasn't awful."
» Do you have any other family? Parents? Siblings? Extended? What do you think about them?
"Yeah, but I left them at home a long time ago. My younger brother Owen thought I was so lucky, getting an actual job and getting to follow around a sorcerer. I guess Jenson's pretty much my family now. He was passing through the town where I lived some time ago, showing off with his magic and whatever. I thought it was neat and he humored me and told me, hey, he'd grant me one wish. I wanted to be rich, famous, know celebrities, get out of the dump I lived in. Somehow when I said it out loud, it translated to 'please let me follow you around and do whatever you ask for the rest of my pitiful life'. Yeah, still trying to figure that one out. Jenson said he wasn't all too happy with the outcome either, but it certainly wasn't my wish he granted. I guess I'm more famous now than I was then, but geez, 'Jenson Delampe's redheaded sidekick' wasn't really the title I had in mind."
» What is your worst memory/memories?
"How can someone have a 'worst memory'? How would you even remember what it was? Maybe if your entire life was peaches and cream and then suddenly your house burned down, then yeah. Geez... I guess my worst memories are when my parents fought. Yeah, sure, everyone's parents do that, I guess. I remember hiding with my brother in our room listening to my mom and dad yell about money and then they'd throw stuff at each other. My dad would get mad sometimes and drive off. He'd come back in the morning, but my mom would cry all night. I never knew what to do so I always just curled up and went to sleep."
» What is your best memory/memories?
"One of the perks of hanging with Jenson is the traveling. I don't have a certain memory that's my favorite, but getting to visit new cities and see giant buildings and statues... yeah."
» Where are you now? What are you doing with your life?
"I'm where ever Jenson is, which right this second is Faraway City. And I'm doing whatever he tells me to do, which is usually hauling his stuff around or getting him coffee or whatever else pops into his head. Yeah, it's not a bad job, though. It's more of an enslavement than a job, but Jenson's sometimes an okay guy. Usually when he isn't talking. Or moving. When he's sleeping it's the best."
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roll the credits.
this app was made by BROOKE or caution. please do not steal this app. feel free to ask about using it somewhere else if you like it. the lyrics at the top of the app are from Northern Downpour by Panic at the Disco.
